The AdVentures of GReD AnD fOrGE
by When.The.Dust.Settles
Summary: Fred and George have some fun.... Evvviiilll fun.
1. Harry's Day in Hell

The AdVentures Of GrED AnDD ForGGGe!

Me: Fred! George! Stop messing with the Caps Lock Button!

Fred and George: nO! MaKe uS!!!

Me: Look, just because I don't own you, doesn't mean you have to be knuckle-headed-m c-spazzatrons! And beside, I'm the author here, I could make you have one ear and you dead!

Gred and Forge: No! We are sorry! We promise to correct our grammar!

Me: *pats them on heads* Good dog-- I mean twins! Yes, good twins!

Enjoy the show…

**LinebreakLinebreakLinebreak**

It was an average summer at the Burrow. Harry and Hermione were both staying with the Weaselys, (**A/N:** Please ignore any spelling errors…) and everyone had taken a day trip to Diagon Alley. Everyone that is, except for Fred, George, and Harry Potter. And, we all know Fred and George. They were preparing to harass Harry. Of course, it was their favorite pastime, harassing people. And it wasn't even their idea to prank poor innocent Harry. Someone was _paying_ them. Score!

Harry, the heroic tyke, was _reading._ It was summer, and he'd just finished his 7th year. How _darling, _reading for fun! He was sitting in an old worn armchair, located in the Weasely living room, studying some Quidditch magazine avidly. George, from his position at the top of the stairs, pretended to swoon, while Fred gagged. Fred signaled his twin to be quiet and set one tippy-toe on the very top stair, silently. And that was as quiet as they got. George decided it would be fun to shove Fred down the stairs, as did George. And so, the pranksters both fell head over heels… over head over heels over head… kicking and yelling down the stairs.

As the two red headed boy landed in a heap, unsuspecting Harry barely gave them a second glance. After a week (and the 6 previous summers) nothing they did surprised him anymore. Or, so he thought.

George detangled himself from his twin and jumped up off the floor. "Hello, Harry darling!"

Fred, who had similarly righted himself and stood beside his twin, smacked him upside the head, and hissed, "Don't give it away!" Now Harry was intrigued. And, quite frankly, suspicious. He closed his magazine and set it aside. "Alright," he sighed. "What are you two up to?"

The twins smiled innocently. "Harry dear, we need to talk. Sit down." Harry gestured to the armchair he was currently sitting in. "Oh, right. Well Harry, this is about Ginny. We need to know your intentions." Harry smiled and held up a hand to stop them.

"Guys, I think I know where you're going with this. , Charlie and Bill already talked to me about it. You don't have to worry." The twins exchanged a look. Were they being two-timed?

"What, per say, did they talk to you about?"

"Oh, you know, that they consider me family and all, but, and this is what said, not me, if I 'besmirch her innocence' they'd hex me into a bloody pulp. They meant that in the best way possible, though." The twins smiled. That sounded exactly like their Father and older brothers. So protective it made them want to smile as they gagged at the sweetness of it. The two fell into 'criss-cross applesauce' position at his feet, like children and Santa Claus.

"That's not at all what we wanted to talk to you about, Harry, love," said Fred.

"Oh?"

"No. We want you to dump Ginny," said George.

Harry, shocked, jumped to his feet. "What?!" The twins stood as well. "You heard us."

The Boy Who Lived was bewildered. "Why?" George put an arm around Harry's waist, and Fred over his shoulder. They guided him to the worn, and slightly singed, couch. Harry again repeated his question, and this time, George answered.

" We simply don't think you two click, and you both would be happier with other people."

Harry saw straight through the lie. "The truth, please."

"Alright Harry," said Fred, sighing like an overly tired parent, and Harry was his sugar-hyped toddler. "But you may not like the answer..." Harry rolled his eyes.

"If I can deal with Voldemort I can certainly deal with you two. And those silly fake wands you keep thinking I'll actually fall for," he said. Wait, Harry _hadn't _fallen for those? They worked every time with Ron! Oh, right, that makes sense.

Fred and George's eyes met, sparkling with silent laughter. George could tell Fred was close to a breaking point, another word and he would burst out laughing. So George spoke: "Harry, we need a favor of you, and it would be easier if you weren't dating our sister. For you see, I'm bi, and Fred, well, he's queer." Harry paled slightly, and looked confused.

"But what do you want _me_ to do?" Fred scooted closer to him, so their thighs touched. He patted Harry's knee.

"We think you know." Harry turned slightly green, and looked and George. The prankster winked. And that proved to be too much for our dear Saviour. He leapt off the couch and spun on the spot, disapperating with a small _pop,_

presumably headed to tell his girlfriend of his traumatic experience. Fred turned to George, laughing.

"Well, who would have guessed? The great Harry Potter is a homophobe! I guess Ron was right... for once. "

"Ginny owes us ten galleons."

"So what do you want to do now?"

"Dunno... Gee, you don't think Harry will tell on us to Mum, do you?"

". . ."

". . ."

"We're going to die, aren't we?" They heard a crack of someone apperating.

"BOYS! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

"GINNY TOLD US TO!"

"Honest! She said she'd pay us!"

"It was just a prank!"

Both of the twins were grounded for two weeks, no magic. But they didn't care, because Ginny payed them. It was

all her idea, this time anyway.


	2. Minnie's Day in Hell

On with the show! Dance puppets, dance!

Fred and George did not resent their all-but-blood brother Harry for tattling on them. Of course not. They would _never_ hang that over his head, goodness no. They wouldn't _think _of threatening to sent the story to tabloids. And _of course _they wouldn't make Harry do unspeakable things for revenge, where did you get such a filthy mind?

But anyway.

Grounding the twins with no magic for a week really didn't do much for Fred and George. Seeing as they where adults, and their mother had to give them their wands for work. So their pranking schedule went on... as scheduled... The next victim on their "hit list," which they'd heard about in muggle movies, was * drum roll * their very own, Oliver Wood.

"We pranked him two weeks ago!"

"We did?"

"Yes, George, we did! With the wombat and blueberry muffins?"

"Oh I remember now!"

"Twit."

Right as we where saying, * drum roll * our very own Professor Minerva McGonagall! (a/n: Still looking for a beta! I know I spelled that wrong.)

…..........Linebreak............

Minerva McGonagall had an obsession, she was not proud of it.. She did not advertise it, hell, she tried to hide it! It was only in the rare times did she indulge her fetish did she acknowledge its existence. But Fred and George knew. They knew all, you see. The twins considered themselves gods. "Yea right!" snorted the author. "SHUT UP!" shouted Fred. "THIS IS OUR STORY!" shouted George.

Right. Well anyway, it was catnip. Yea, way to ruin the mystique.

Well anyway, the plan was fool proof. George would flounce into Hogwarts, and pretend to visit Hermione, with her new teaching position as the Potions Mistress. Fred would follow, unseen, and spread catnip all over Flitwick's shirts. Just his shirts. That way, the poor charms professor would be a little embarrassed, while poor Minnie would would be humiliated for trying to molest the charms teacher.

And the plan, the beautiful EVIL plan was perfect, until Madam Hooch entered the Great Hall at breakfast. Next to Flitwick. This was the next day, mind you, and both twins where hidden behind the new headmaster (Lee Jordan, whom had given his consent for the prank), invisible, watching for the fun. McGonagall, or the X they'd drawn on many diagrams like planning a play for a sport, who was talking to Trelawney, the old bat, suddenly whipped her head around to see the two enter, eyes narrow. Unable to resist, she leapt up, shifted to her animagus form, and pounced. And who did she pounce on, but Madam Hooch, knocking her to the ground. Fred and George glanced at each other nervously under the. This wasn't part of the plan.

McGonagall purred _very_ loudly. The poor Quidditch teacher tried to push the cat off, but it hissed loudly and continued to rub against her. Lee looked nervous. The twins had filled him in on the plan, and this was _not_ it.

"What's going on?!" Hissed Headmaster Jordan out of the corner of his mouth, trying not to laugh and look concerned at the same time.

"I dunno," the Twins whispered simultaneously. They glanced at each other, then nodded. Both pranksters removed their invisibility charms, but weren't noticed, due to the pandemonium the two professors were causing. Students' reaction ranged from hysterical laughter to disgust.

"Alright, enough," called Lee over the ruckus. He cast a quick spell, and poor Minnie was herself again, and quite red in the face. So was Hooch. (a/n: teehee.. "hooch.")

"..So sorry.." she mumbled. Lee suddenly noticed all the students, whispering, pointing, and all around, committing this memory to mind so they could gossip later. He sent them all quickly back to their dorm, canceling their first class of the day. The twins, Lee and the other teachers approached the three in the middle of the hall. Flitwick helped the two women up. McGonagall spotted the two Weaselys.

"You!" She took out her wand, and brandished it threateningly. The twins both put up their hand in a defensive gesture, and stepped back.

"We were trying to prank you and Flitwick-" said Fred.

"- Not you and Hooch." said George.

"Professors," said Lee, quite solemn, but his eyes twinkled, rivaling Dumbledore. "If you blame anyone, blame me. I was the one who approved the prank. Fred and George spread cat nip on Filius' clothes." Minerva fumed, but remained silent.

"But I have a question," Hermione wondered aloud. "If you were pranking Filius as well as Minerva, why did she... 'pounce' on Helen? Wouldn't that mean Helen was wearing Filius' clothes, as you put the nip on his clothes?" They all turned to look at Madam Hooch and Professor Flitwick. Hooch blushed and Flitwick coughed, suddenly finding the ceiling quite interesting. "Well?"

"We've... Been dating for a year now..." stammered Flitwick.

"You sly dog!" shouted Lee. "I- I mean, sexual relations with co-workers are forbidden." He coughed. "Which is why I just developed amnesia. Fred, George, what are you doing here? And why aren't any of you teaching your classes?!"

Review! I'm begging!


End file.
